On Kindness

A funny thing happened on my way to work two months ago--I was hit by a car while riding a bicycle. At the time, I was less than thrilled. My accident left me without a job for the summer and with a concussion, serious road rash, a fractured pelvis, a police citation, and $16,000 in medical bills ($2,500 after medical insurance). My exciting ambulance ride notwithstanding, this was not a particularly fun experience, and the painful weeks that followed were hardly more so.

But I've always been told that hindsight is 20/20, and the perspective of two months has helped me see the events of May 6, 2008 in an entirely new light. I am now very grateful for the accident that left me with a considerably lighter wallet and scars on all four limbs because that experience helped me appreciate the virtue of kindness. Before my accident, I had always thought of kindness as an attribute whose primary manifestation was an absence of hostility. Kindness meant not making a snide comment about the overweight man who sat next to me on the bus and left me with less personal space than I had hoped for. If I was feeling more magnanimous than usual, kindness might even have involved a small exertion on my behalf--making the bed so that my wife would not have to, or allowing another driver to pull in front of me. Before my accident, I thought of kindness as a quiet virtue, something that was nice but not necessary, the sort of thing that no one worries about until after the pearly gates are already in sight.

Now, I know better. Kindness is no insignificant virtue, and Paul's commandment to the Ephesians--"Be ye kind to one another" (4:32)--is not something to be attended to after we cross off the ten Moses brought down from Sinai. Kindness is more than restraining spite, more than a general fondness or token act of service. After my accident, people I did not know brought my family meals so that my wife would not have to cook and watch both children at the same time. I was given checks that more than covered my $2,500 in medical expenses. People I might not have considered good friends treated me like family--and treating the people outside your circle of friends like they are family is the essence of kindness.

The word kind is a modern derivative of the latin word gens, or tribe. When we use the phrase "two of a kind" we really mean "two of the same tribe." Understanding that kind means tribe or family puts a new spin on Paul's seemingly simple commandment. When he commanded the Ephesians to "be ye kind," he really asked them to be family--to act with the same love, concern and respect towards their associates that we typically reserve for intimate friends and family.

Without my accident, I never would have learned the true meaning of kindness; now, I can only hope that I remember to honor Paul's commandment--because acting with kindness is the essence of Christ's second "great commandment" to "love thy neighbour as thyself," or any other member of your family.

Comments

Aaron H. said…
so does that mean the phrase should really be: "tribeness"?

"He is being tribe to me."

"I love to be tribe to others."

Interesting thought. Thanks for sharing.
Anonymous said…
Hi Zach,
Why did you get a police citation when you were hit by a car? Were you on the wrong side of the road? I didn't realize the seriousness of your injuries. Thank heaven you are o.k, and that you are mending. Look forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks.
Love, Aunt Shirley
Jeannette said…
Zsa-Zsa, I love you. Thank you for being you:)It makes me want to be better.
James is deffinitely glad to be up and going again, how are you in that area? I would miss chasing around those little kids of yours:)
Miss you guys!

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